Boys in the kitchen
by curdled-milk
Summary: The playboys' natural habitat is the club scene. so what are they doing in the kitchen? Tsukushi wishes she hadn't foud out. (f4 learn to bake -- with a twist.) one shot.


~Disclaimer: I don't own HYD~ ~Warning: drugs. Lots of 'em. ~  
  
Soujiro stared, mystified, at the little baggy he held in his hand.  
  
"Where did I get this?" he scratched his head, trying to recall last night's events. "I went to the bar. . . had a few drinks. . . picked up that girl, what was her name? Lisa, yes, Lisa. OK. Then what?" Soujiro paused a second in his musings, then snapped his fingers in triumph. "Sex! Man, how could I forget that?. . . that Lisa was one crazy chick. .. But that still doesn't explain this?" he peered intently at the bag and its contents. "Oh wait! There was this party after! I think. . . Man. . . that Must've been one wack-ass party. I don't remember anything after we got there. " Soujiro's brow furrowed in concentration, "Oh! Got it! her boyfriend. The dealer. That's gotta be it. Man, I was so drunk.. . . I can't believe I blew all my cash on this shit."  
  
Soujiro sighed in regret, and shook his hair out of his eyes. "Maybe Akira will know what to do." With a lazy flick of his wrist he snapped open his cell and dialed the familiar number.  
  
"Yo. 'Sup?" Akira greeted, several rings later.  
  
"Hey, dude. You busy this afternoon? I have a small problem."  
  
"Sure, Man. What is it?" Akira asked curiously. Whatever this 'problem' was, Soujiro really didn't sound too upset over it.  
  
"Tell you when you get here." Akira could almost see Soujiro grinning sneakily on the other end of the line.  
  
"Bah. I'll be over in a bit." Akira hung up and busted ass out to Soujiro's house, eager to find out what Soujiro was being so mysterious about.  
  
----  
  
"Where the hell did you get this much weed?" Akira stared incredulously at the bag lying on Soujiro's desk, "And, why, dare I ask, did you buy it in the first place!'  
  
"Fuck if I know." Soujiro shrugged, "Think it was at a party last night. Don't know what to do with it now."  
  
"Smoke it. Duh"  
  
"You know I don't smoke." Soujiro rubbed his throat. "I don't want to damage my singing voice."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Akira snorted, "Not all of us were born with perfect pitch."  
  
"You're just jealous, since you haven't been able to sing since your voice broke." Soujiro returned, with more than a hint of smugness. "Plus, chicks totally dig my voice."  
  
"Eh. Fuck you too." Akira rolled his eyes. "Like you really need to talk to a girl to get her into bed. Look, why don't you give it to me? I'll smoke it if you won't."  
  
"Hell no!" Soujiro shot back indignantly, "I spent good money on this shit!"  
  
"So what are you going to do with it, then?"  
  
"Like I said, I haven't a clue. That's why you're here!"  
  
"Hmm." Both boys sat in thought for a while. . . Suddenly, Akira snapped his fingers as a light bulb went off in his brain. "Got it!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Brownies! I had these amazing pot brownies a few months ago at this party . . ."  
  
"Great idea." Soujiro grinned, "Oh, but wait a sec. .. We don't know how to bake?"  
  
"No prob." Akira snorted derisively, "That's what the internet is for."  
  
"Oh right. .. . " Soujiro thought a minute more, "I think we need to move this operation to Tsukasa's kitchen."  
  
"Totally." Akira couldn't agree more. Tsukasa's was the only place they could work without fear of interruption by their respective parents. Plus, if they made a mess, they wouldn't have to explain it, or worse. .. clean up!  
  
Without further ado, Soujiro snagged his trusty laptop, and the bag of weed, and the two boys decamped to one of the Doumyouji Mansion's smaller kitchens.  
  
------  
  
"Thank god for wireless." Soujiro set his computer on a convenient counter. "Ok, let's see. . . www.google.com . . What do I search for?"  
  
"Dude. 'Pot Brownies' Duh."  
  
"Oh. Right." Soujiro turned back to the screen, "Umm.. ok. . here's one. . . says to boil the pot for five hours. No way! I'm not wasting five hours in the kitchen!"  
  
"Look for another."  
  
"Ok.. . simmer in butter 20 minutes. That's more like it. . we got any butter?"  
  
"Err. . . Lemme check." Akira rummaged in the fridge. "Can't find any. How about some cooking oil." He dug through a cupboard, and emerged, triumphantly holding aloft a bottle of peanut oil. "Oil is oil right?"  
  
"Yeah sure." Soujiro shrugged.  
  
"OK, what next?"  
  
"Flour."  
  
"I thought I saw some of that up here," Akira stood on tiptoes to reach one of the highest cabinets, "Oh shit!" The half-full bag of flour, precariously balanced at the edge of shelf, landed with a thud on his head, before continuing its descent to the floor.  
  
"That is so not a good look for you." Soujiro laughed as he regarded the well-dusted figure of Akira.  
  
"Yuck." Akira wiped four from his face, and picked the much-lightened bag from the floor. "I think there's still enough left here. What's next?"  
  
"Chocolate. Unsweetened. " Soujiro turned from the computer, "Here, you clean up that mess, I'll find chocolate." He busied himself searching the cupboards. . "Err, do you think chocolate chips will work ok? If we lower the amount of sugar in the recipe?"  
  
"Sure. I don't see why not." Akira shrugged, "Chocolate is chocolate, right?"  
  
"Right. OK. So we melt the butter. Simmer the pot in the butter. Add chocolate. Mix with sugar, eggs, flour, vanilla. Bake. How hard can that be?"  
  
Apparently, it was to prove impossible. Twenty minutes, and several oil burns, later the two boys stared in dismay at the smoking mess atop the stove.  
  
"I told you the oil was too hot." Akira smugly informed his dismayed friend.  
  
"I can't believe we burnt the pot.' Soujiro almost wailed, "Oh the Humanity!"  
  
"Dude, It's not the end of the world. We didn't use it all. Besides. . . why don't you take a deep breath of this? It'll make you feel better, I'm sure." Sure enough, the distinctive smell of bunt hemp was wafting from the pan of oil. Akira leaned over to take a deep breath.  
  
"You're such an idiot." Soujiro smacked his friend upside the head. "We're never gonna make brownies at this rate. We need help."  
  
"You're right. .. but who? We can't exactly ask one of the cooks. I mean really. . . "  
  
"I know!" Soujiro's eyes took on an almost frightening gleam as inspiration hit, "Makino!"  
  
"Eh, what? And she's going to be OK with the pot?" Akira's eyes bugged out incredulously.  
  
"Well, moron. We aren't going to tell her what it is, now are we? Besides, we'll tell her the brownies are for Tsukasa. she'll be sure to help us then!"  
  
"She's gonna kill us when she finds out." Akira shook his head, but made no attempt to stop Soujiro, as the black-haired boy whipped out his handy phone once more.  
  
"Hey, Makino!" Soujiro put on his best puppy-dog pleading voice, as Tsukushi answered her phone.  
  
"Hey Nishikado." Tsukushi replied absently, "What do you want?"  
  
"Well. .. . Since you ask, Akira and I would love to have the pleasure of your company this afternoon." Soujiro declaimed persuasively,  
  
"Why, what are you two up to?" Tsukushi replied suspiciously.  
  
"I'm hurt." Soujiro protested, while Akira snickered quietly in the background. "Nothing really, we're jus trying to learn how to bake brownies. . ."  
  
"And we could use a little help!" Akira grabbed the phone from Soujiro and completed the other boy's request.  
  
"Wha!?" Tsukushi almost choked, as she gasped out a reply, "You two are trying to cook?" The image that sprang to mind at the idea resembled a disaster of biblical proportions, only more so.  
  
"Yeah. But umm. . we could use some help." Soujiro snatched the phone back from Akira, "Please. . . Makino. We'll love you forever!"  
  
"That is Not something I need." Tsukushi growled back.  
  
"Erm. OK then. Would it help if I told you we're baking for Tsukasa?"  
  
"No." Tsukushi sighed, "We're not speaking this week, remember?"  
  
"Oh. Yeah. Damn. But you should help us anyway."  
  
"We'll keep calling 'til you do." Akira cut in again.  
  
Tsukushi sighed, and shook her head. The playboys did know how to be persistent, whent hey had a goal in mind. "Fine, just shut up! I'll be over in a bit! Where are you two?. . . "  
  
"Victory!" Soujiro gave Akira a high five as he hung up. "These are gonna be the best pot brownies ever!"  
  
----  
  
Fearing the worst, Tsukushi timidly poked her head through the kitchen door. Oh god, she hated it when she was right. Flour on the floor. Flour on Akira. Chocolate chips scattered across the counter. Oil splatters on the wall; oil on the floor. And. She sniffed suspiciously, What on earth was that ropey smell? Obviously, the Mimasaka-Nishikado duo should never have been released anywhere within a mile of the kitchen.  
  
"There." She enunciated with a great deal of disdain, "appears to be a distinct lack of pants around here."  
  
"Huh?" Soujiro swiveled to regard the glaring figure in the doorway with some confusion. "I'm wearing pants." He pointed at Akira, "So's he, for that matter."  
  
"Yeah, Makino, the only one not wearing pants around here is you." Akira chimed in, eyeing Tsukushi's short skirt with some interest.  
  
"Maybe she wants us to take them off?" Soujiro suggested, as Tsukushi marched in and smacked him across the skull. "Ow! What was that for?"  
  
"What I meant." Tsukushi huffed, "Was that you two are totally incompetent. And you don't even understand common slang. Idiots."  
  
"What's in the bag?" Soujiro rubbed his sore skull and pointed at Tsukushi's very full backpack.  
  
"Ingredients. I don't trust you two to have gotten even that right." She began unpacking. Butter, chocolate. Sugar, flour. .. it was all there.  
  
"Wow." Akira said at last. "You're so prepared."  
  
"But you forgot one thing. . ."  
  
"What. . .Is that?" Tsukushi eyed the proffered baggy with a great deal of suspicion.  
  
"It's the special ingredient." Soujiro said, straight-faced, while behind him, Akira struggled to control his snickers.  
  
"Special, how?" Tsukushi sniffed. "Ugh. You know. . . this smells familiar. . . ."  
  
"It's pot." Akira couldn't restrain himself anymore.  
  
"Moron!" Soujiro growled, "We weren't supposed to tell her!"  
  
"Drugs?" Tsukushi yelped, dropping the bag, and stepping hastily back, as if the mere touch would contaminate her, "Oh god! Leave me out of this. What if we get caught! What if I get high? No No No!" She nervously started backing toward the door.  
  
"Quick! Get her!" Soujiro dashed forward and grabbed Tsukushi around the waist, while Akira slammed the door shut. Desperately fighting off Tsukushi's suddenly violent fists, Soujiro attempted to reason with the panicked girl. "Look, you don't have to eat them. We just need you to do the baking? Please!"  
  
"Look, you're not gonna get high from just cooking." Akira chimed in, still blocking the doorway.  
  
"Let me go!" Tsukushi let fly a particularly vicious punch at Soujiro's stomach.  
  
"No." Soujiro held on tighter. "We're not letting you out until you teach us how to bake."  
  
"Or until we all get baked." Akira punned badly, earning him twinned glares from Tsukushi and Soujiro.  
  
Finally Tsukushi gave up, and sagged limply into one of the kitchen chairs. "I can't believe this! I'm a good girl. This can't be happening to me."  
  
"Oh yes it can!" Soujiro grinned.  
  
"Just think of it as part of your necessary education" Akira added.  
  
"Like sex. . . . Oh shit." Soujiro cringed as Tsukushi raised her fist to hit him again.  
  
"Now kiddies. Less fighting. More baking" Akira commanded, "Tsukushi, what do you want us to do?"  
  
"Umm. . ." Tsukushi looked thoughtful for a moment, "How does that. . ." Pointing at the weed, "End up in the brownies, you can't just mix it in as is. .. That's disgusting."  
  
"Apparently, you extract the THC in butter. Or oil." Soujiro replied helpfully.  
  
"TH. . wha?"  
  
"The stuff that makes you high."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Tsukushi grabbed a clean pot and dumped the butter in. "Two-thirds cup of butter." She announced.  
  
"One ounce of weed," Soujiro replied, dumping a bowlfull of powdered buds into the butter.  
  
"And simmer!" Akira just had to have his say.  
  
Time passed, Tsukushi stirred the melted butter. The boys watched intently, greedily, as the marijuana's distinctive aroma once more began to fill the kitchen.  
  
"These are gonna be the best brownies ever." Soujiro asserted. "You sure you aren't going to want a piece, Makino?"  
  
"Hell No!" the poor girl snapped. "What kind of degenerate do you take me for?"  
  
"Did she just call us degenerates?" Soujiro turned wounded eyes on Akira.  
  
"Yes. And I have to agree." All eyes turned to regard the newest speaker. Doumyouji was leaning in the doorway, anger simmering in his eyes, "What the hell are you guys doing in my kitchen? And what the fuck is that Smell? I can smell it all the way in the other wing!"  
  
"Shit." Akira muttered, while Soujiro did his best to look innocent.  
  
"It's umm. . . Oregano!" Soujiro stammered at last, while Tsukushi just hid her face in her hands to prevent her blush of consternation from being too apparent.  
  
"Makino?" Doumyouji asked almost plaintively, turning to the flustered girl, as if she'd give a more coherent answer than the madly grinning playboys at the table. "What is going on here?"  
  
"We're. . . Making brownies." Tsukushi blushed again, praying Tsukasa didn't ask the obvious question.  
  
"Why are you putting oregano in brownies? And what on earth are you stirring?"  
  
"It's an old Nishikado family recipe." Akira chimed in, to the sound of Soujiro's muffled giggles, "Herbal brownies. Good for the digestion."  
  
"Nice and relaxing after a long tea ceremony." Soujiro gasped in agreement.  
  
"See, you have to extract the herb's potency in the butter. . . And that goes in the brownies. . " Tsukushi was forced to stick to half-truths. Doumyouji always knew when she was lying. But this time he didn't even notice. Instead he was staring at her as if struck by sudden revelation  
  
"Hey! You're speaking to me again! Does that mean you've forgiven me?" Doumyouji snuck up behind Tsukushi, and wrapped his arms around her waist.  
  
"Hey! I can't cook like this!" Tsukushi yelled, elbowing Doumyouji until he let go, "But yeah, I guess so. . ."  
  
"No sense of romance." Akira and Soujiro shook their heads sadly at Tsukushi's rebuff of Doumyouji.  
  
"Shut up, you two!" Tsukushi and Tsukasa turned as one to glare at the playboy duo.  
  
"OK. OK. Don't hurt us! Is the, umm, oregano done cooking yet?"  
  
"I guess so," Tsukushi shrugged. "It's been what, forty minutes? That's gotta be good enough."  
  
"Yay!"  
  
"Do we have anything to strain out this gunk?" Tsukushi brandished a spoonful of deep-fried weed. "Like cheesecloth, or a strainer?"  
  
The two playboys hopped up and began frantically searching the cupboards again, while a very confused Tsukasa slumped grouchily at the table.  
  
"You are up to no good. I can tell." He announced to the room in general.  
  
"Us? Never!" Akira demurred, "Here, Makino, will these do?"  
  
"Coffee filters?!"  
  
"I couldn't find anything else." Akira shrugged haplessly.  
  
"We'll give it a shot." Tsukushi delicately held one large filter over a new pot, while Akira slowly poured the hot oil through. "Ow! hey! Watch out for my fingers!"  
  
"Sorry." Akira and Tsukushi watched as the first drops of dark oily goodness dripped from the bottom of the filter. "Shit, that's slow."  
  
"We're going to be here all day at this rate." Tsukushi complained, worried now, that the oil was creeping up the filter, and her fingers were starting to feel the heat.  
  
"Hey! I found something." Soujiro bounded over. Tsukushi heaved a sigh of relief at the sight of the sieve he was brandishing.  
  
Soon, all the THC-infused butter had been successfully strained, and the chocolate melted into it. "Five ounces!" Soujiro whispered to Akira as Tsukushi dropped each chocolate lump in. "Yum!"  
  
While the boys drooled over the dark and gooey mixture, Tsukushi quickly whisked together the sugar, eggs and vanilla. "Ok, Mimasaka, you pour the chocolate, while I stir the eggs." She directed.  
  
"Why do you have to do both at the same time?" Akira inquired, grasping the pot and preparing to pour.  
  
"Because you dumbass, the chocolate is too hot. If I don't stir, it'll cook the egg. You don't want a chocolate, egg, and umm. .. Oregano, omelet, do you?"  
  
"Err. No." Akira hastily agreed, as he let a slow trickle of chocolate-pot- butter cascade into the bowl, while Tsukushi vigorously folded the mixture together.. .  
  
Five minutes and a cup of flour later, Tsukushi looked up. "Ok, so where's the pan?"  
  
"Here!" Soujiro proffered a brownie pan he'd dug up from god only knows where.  
  
"It needs to be greased." Tsukushi sternly reprimanded.  
  
"Ah! Is this ok?" Soujiro pointed to the dregs from the pot-simmering pan.  
  
"Ugh." Tsukushi grimaced. She'd almost let herself forget the true nature of this baking adventure, what with the lying to Doumyouji and all. She was honestly amazed that he hadn't questioned their little deception, but then, Tsukasa always had been dense.  
  
Meanwhile, Soujiro finished greasing the pan with the pot-butter grease, and Tsukushi poured the brownie mix in.  
  
"How long?" Soujiro asked eagerly, avidly eyeing the oven door.  
  
"Forty minutes." Tsukushi shrugged.  
  
"Damn." Soujiro sighed, "So long. .. well, at least I have the spatula." He brightened and reached out to grab the batter-covered spoon.  
  
"That's mine." His hand was blocked by Tsukasa's swift strike.  
  
"Umm. .. Doumyouji. . " Tsukushi nervously interrupted. .  
  
"I don't think you want these brownies." Akira finished her thought.  
  
"Why not?" Tsukasa refused to relinquish his hold on the spoon. "Tsukushi made them. I want some."  
  
"Such a child!" Soujiro shook his head in dismay.  
  
"You won't like it!" Akira protested.  
  
"Tsukushi made them, of course I will!" Tsukasa growled, and proceeded to lick the spoon clean, while Akira and Soujiro watched in horror.  
  
"Shit. I hope it's not too potent."  
  
"He's not going to be able to handle it."  
  
"You guys are assholes." Tsukushi sighed sadly, "Look what you made him do." Absently she licked a remaining bit of batter off her finger.  
  
"Err. . Makino?" Soujiro spoke hesitantly, "Are you sure you wanted to do that?'  
  
Tsukushi's eyes widened and she stared in horror at the offending finger. "Oh shit! I'm going to kill you guys! I can't believe it! I just ate marijuana! I'm going to go to jail! My family will disown me! This is all your fault!" she burst in to furious tears, while Doumyouji looked on in sudden comprehension.  
  
"Pot? You guys were playing with Drugs in MY kitchen!!? And you made My Makino Help you? What kind of lowlife scum are you? How could you!?"  
  
"Dude. Calm down." Akira sighed. "It's just pot."  
  
"I think he needs some more" Soujiro chimed in, "If any one needs to learn to relax, it's Tsukasa. Here, try some more of this." He proffered the batter bowl. Tsukasa just glared at it. "No, then, ok. More for me." Soujiro sighed happily, and began to clean the bowl with one finger. He was completely taken by surprise when Makino wrenched the bowl from his grasp and retreated to her seat on the counter with it. "Makino, what are you doing?" He protested in great astonishment.  
  
"If I'm going to go to jail for this," Makino shrugged, "I want to at least know what it feels like."  
  
"You're such a drama queen. You're not going to jail. .. ." Akira chided, as the foursome sat back to wait for the brownies to finish baking.  
  
-----  
  
At last, the long awaited deserts emerged from the oven. They smelled chocolate-y, but weirdly herbal at the same time. Soujiro couldn't wait to get his hands on one of then. After all, it was his weed! He deserved first dibs!  
  
"Oh hey! Brownies!" Rui's lean figure made its appearance in the kitchen at last, as the reclusive boy drifted in, wraithlike, to pluck a freshly cut brownie from the pan. Munching contentedly, he retreated to the far wall. "Tastes weird." He announced to the suddenly silent room.  
  
"Damn it!" Soujiro glared at Rui, "You don't like sweets! What'd you steal my brownie for?"  
  
"Tsukushi made it." Rui replied complacently, "I'll eat anything she cooks. . .. But why does this brownie taste like pot?"  
  
Rui looked expectantly around the very quiet room, "What, did I say something wrong? They're fine brownies. .. they just taste like pot."  
  
"You idiot." Tsukasa growled. "That's the main ingredient. And how do you know what it tastes like anyway?"  
  
"Err. . why do you think he's so quiet and mellow all the time?" Akira ventured, "I mean, duh, Tsukasa. How dense can you be? The perpetually bloodshot eyes are a dead giveaway."  
  
"Not to mention the spacey look." Soujiro added.  
  
"And the always hanging out on the back stairs?" Akira prompted.  
  
"What better place to smoke?" Soujiro finished.  
  
Neither boy noticed Tsukushi's hand stealthily sneaking in for her share of the tasty dessert, until she already had finished half of it.  
  
"What?" She challenged, unnerved by the stares. "If everyone else is having some, then so am I."  
  
"Good point." Akira agreed. "She does need to relax."  
  
"True that." Soujiro sighed, and grabbed his brownie. Akira soon followed suit.  
  
"Not bad."  
  
"Not bad at all. Makino! You have to bake for us again, sometime!"  
  
"Tsukasa, you having any?"  
  
"No." Tsukasa shook his head firmly.  
  
"Oh come on! It won't hurt you!"  
  
"No." Tsukasa stood firm, "I have to watch out for Makino with all you deviants around." As if to emphasize his point, he glared across the room at each of the three boys in turn.  
  
"Like I'd touch Makino, stoned or sober." Soujiro scoffed.  
  
"No fighting!" Akira quickly intervened. "Let's go watch a movie ors something, while we wait for these things to kick in."  
  
"How long?" Tsukushi asked nervously. She was beginning to regret her earlier impulsiveness.  
  
"About half an hour or so." Rui smiled at her, "Come on, let's go." He held out a hand, only to be blocked by an angry Tsukasa.  
  
"Makino's not going anywhere with you!"  
  
'Doumyouji! don't be like that! I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!" Tsukushi fumed.  
  
"Yeah right." Soujiro snorted in the background, "Lets see how the virgin girl is doing an hour from now. . "  
  
"Should be interesting." Akira agreed, as they headed out towards the den.  
  
-----  
  
Thirty minutes or so later, Tsukushi's head was beginning to pound, and her vision. .. well. . it wasn't blurry exactly, but everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. She didn't think she liked this feeling at all. She scowled, "Is it supposed to feel like this?"  
  
"Like how?" Akira asked, but he was interrupted by Rui, who was giggling quietly in his chair.  
  
"Make that face again, Makino!" he managed to gasp. "Something like this!" And he attempted to imitate her sour expression, but was prevented by his own laughter.  
  
"Moron." Tsukasa growled, pulling Tsukushi closer to himself, "Why'd you have to go and eat the whole thing?"  
  
"Why'd I do. .. What?" Tsukushi was confused.  
  
"Eat the brownie, stupid."  
  
'Hey. You're the stupid one!. . Wait, did you ask me a question?"  
  
"She's so stoned." Akira grinned at Soujiro.  
  
"Yup!" Soujiro agreed happily, "These really are the best brownies ever!" He could feel his body relaxing into a warm fuzzy sea of feeling. Nothing mattered much. Everything was cool, to just sit here and Be. He stretched out on the couch he shared with Akira, and watched Tsukushi and Tsukasa's argument with a warmly detached sense of amusement.  
  
"Hey you two!" Akira suggested, "Why don't you stop fighting and start kissing?"  
  
"What a great idea." Soujiro agreed.  
  
"Rui continued his soft laughter as the furious couple began to redden simultaneously.  
  
"Totally hopeless." Akira shook his head sadly.  
  
"Totally."  
  
Tsukushi closed her eyes in an attempt to bring the world back into focus. Obviously the other three were enjoying this a hell of a lot more than she was. Goddamnit! If she was going to do something illegal, it should at least be fun! Fun. .. hmm? She was having trouble thinking. It was hard to concentrate, what was fun? Tsukasa was fun. .. Tsukasa was. . . Angry. She could feel his tension as he sat next to her, but she no longer knew just that he was angry about. She felt as though lead weights were dragging her down, and she yawned. Headache. Dizzy, tired. Incoherent. What a stupid drug. Somehow, without even noticing it, she drifted off into sleep, as her unconscious body cured up against Tsukasa's shoulder.  
  
She awoke some indeterminant amount of time later to the sensation of being carried.  
  
"Where?" She managed to mumble. Her head felt pleasantly wooly, and she couldn't form a truly coherent thought. But it was nice. The arms around her were warm, the heart pulsing against her ear had a nice rhythmic beat. She could just listen to it forever. Eternity was passing.. . .  
  
"I'm putting you to bed. Fool woman." Doumyouji sounded angry. Distantly, she wondered why.  
  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." She tried to apologize. Tried to struggle out of his arms as he set her down on a bed. But he didn't let her go. Not that she minded much. He felt nice. Tsukushi gave a mental shrug, and snuggled closer to his pleasant warmth, only to feel him stiffen and pull away.  
  
"Damnit woman!" Tsukasa muttered, "Why do you have to d this to me?"  
  
"What? Why are you mad?" Tsukushi didn't understand what she'd done wrong.  
  
At her plaintive tone, Tsukasa leaned in and kissed her on the forehead, "Frustrating woman. I'm never letting you alone in the same room with those two ever again. Go to sleep. I'm not mad at you. But I'm going to kill them." Tsukasa sighed and stood up to tuck Tsukushi in. She'd fallen asleep on his shoulder back in the lounge, but somehow, she'd slipped, and ended up sprawled across his lap. The small smile she wore and the flush in her cheek made her look utterly kissable. And Tsukasa had had to do everything in his power to control himself. She was stoned out of her mind, and much as he wanted to, he couldn't molest her when she was too spaced to notice. But Oh! How he wanted to. And when she curled against him so trustingly? Why couldn't she be like hat when she was sober instead of fighting him all the time? That was why he was mad. But, he sighed, as he watched Tsukushi slip back into slumber, that was simply the way his perverse love just had to be. He probably wouldn't want her any other way, anyway.  
  
Slowly, he returned to the lounge, leaving Tsukushi fast asleep in his bed.  
  
"Hey Tsukasa!" Akira greeted cheerfully, "That didn't take you long!"  
  
"Yeah." Soujiro agreed, "We thought sure Tsukushi was finally de-spazzed enough for some between-the-sheets action, if you know what I mean."  
  
"I'm hungry." Rui interrupted plaintively, before Tsukasa could assimilate Soujiro's words and kill the other boy.  
  
"Don't interrupt, Rui!" Akira groused, "We were discussing Tsukasa's sex life."  
  
"Or lack thereof." Soujiro added, "I know the problem! Tsukasa, you didn't eat the brownies! See, right there. No Good. You gotta loosen up, man."  
  
"I don't think a little pot's enough to tame the Doumyouji beast." Rui averred.  
  
"No. .. . You're right." Akira opined thoughtfully, "Maybe next time we need to get the both of them on E?"  
  
"That's it. Time for you all to die." Without further ado, Tsukasa booted his annoyingly sketchy friends out of his house. "And take your damned drugs with you! He threw the last of Soujiro's precious weed out the door. Some days, he didn't know what possessed him to put up with his friends.  
  
And then there was Tsukushi. At least their escapades in baking had brought him some good. Maybe he wouldn't kill his friends quite yet, after all. Smiling slightly, Tsukasa returned to his room to watch over Tsukushi as she slept.  
  
The End.  
  
~I apologize. I don't know what came over me. Really. I don't think I can come up with a valid excuse for this fic. Except that parts of it are loosely based on actual events.~ 


End file.
